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" Well," Karin said, a look of relief on her face, "That makes me feel a little better, but even with what you told me I can't get rid of the image of him sitting alone and bitter in his apartment thinking about what could have been." He's moved on, I think," Jon told her. "He pretty much came out and said he prefers being alone, not that it should be a big surprise to any of us, because, as I think back, he was something of a loner even before the brain tumor came along." Well, yes, you're right on that," Karin said. "He always was something of a loner, even back when I first met him. He never was very social at the best of times. He preferred being buried in his work, or in a book, or in his computer or something." I guess some things don't change," Jon smiled. "There are books all over his apartment and a big computer. He apparently watches quite a bit of TV. But he's not a total loner. He has this friend he spends some time with, name is Doris. She often comes over and cooks. That makes sense…. Why aren’t you hard now? We’re talking about her.”“You’re question sidetracked me. But let’s drop the topic now, and your mom, OK?”“OK, Sean. I have another tough topic, but about me. When I went to my room last night I thought terrible things.”“Well, you have plenty of company.”“Really? Who else?”“I think we should stay focused on you.”“I was hoping you‘d let me get sidetracked.”“It helps, Jeff, to talk about your troubles with someone you trust.”“I got so angry about yesterday’s ball game again. I hate myself. I swore at myself about every mistake I made in the game. And I hate being humiliated by a rotten team. Some Cubs claimed we lost on purpose because we felt sorry for the Tigers—to cover up their embarrassment.”“Jeff, just talk about yourself for now.”“I’d rather die than be humiliated. I thought about painless ways to die. I told my mother I was sick, so I wouldn’t have to go to school. She didn’t fall for it. I swore at her. I feel so bad. I would pull my.
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